We are warped!

       Well hello hello there! I come to you a bit tanner and a bit more tired.

       I would like to call this past weekend a very busy one. On friday, I unexpectedly was invited to a house party. I decided to go with my best friend (remember the skinney one that I'm kinda jealous of... yea her) and my guy friend, I'll call him "Danny" her on blogville. He is working as my teacher intern this summer and he's going to the same college as me next year so we've been talking more that we had before.

      At the party it was a typical small get together with the purpose of some of the people wanting to be drunkin bloody idiots. Only a few can manage to seem like they have a brain while buzzed. (I don't drink... i just don't understand the point of it personally). After a while someone busted out his ipod so we could start dancing. We were all just dancing and having a good time and then one guy was leading me with the intention of turning me around so we could grind. (Could someone PLEASE give me some "bitch lessons" so I can learn to say no and not care what the guy thinks.) When all that happened I felt weird because my friend Danny was there but he didn't really know any one like I or my best friend did.

     Anywho, I drove Danny and my friend home and I stayed the night at my bff's. The next morning we woke up sooo freaking early so that we could go to Warped Tour! That's were I managed to get my tan back, because I must admit that I have been quite pale. The best band of the day, imho, was 3Oh3. I love them because they are from my home town, Denver, CO and their music is so much fun and catchy.

Sunday was left for me to catch up on MUCH needed sleep.

Ahhhh. These weekends don't happen often, but they are fun while they last.



until next time,
Vizzy


p.s. After warped tour, my best friend was texting Danny on MY phone and I think she has tried to set us up... ugh! He's a cool guy, but I'm just not attracted to him in that way. Well maybe it'll just be us hanging out as "friends" and not turn into anything else because other wise, him working as my intern in Mexico next month will be REALLY awkward, not to mention 4 years of college. FML.

Work, work, work

     Hello my beautiful people! I can only hope that things are going well for you all, if not, I hope to be a distraction. :)

     So, it has been a crazy busy time since I've graduated. I went to so many of my friends graduations. Some were pleasant and too the point, others were drawn out so long I wanted to pull out my eye lashes. Never the less, I enjoyed being able to support my friends in this momentous occurrence.

     Then just this past friday, I got to go to a group of friends party they had for graduation. THAT was fun! I danced so much XD My feet were upset with me afterward, but it was worth it! I love my heels and I love dancing.
Then last night I went to another party, but didn't dance as much :( It was more of her family, so it was kinda awkward to do any dance other than the group dances like the Cupid Shuffle. Still great to hang out with her.

So, now I know it seems like it's been forever since I've updated on my weight loss. I can say that it has been a very VERY slow occurrence. I know they say this is how it's supposed to be 1-2lbs a week, but it's ANNOYING! I hate feeling so fat when I'm with friends, ESPECIALLY clothes shopping. Ugh!

Well now me and my best friends get to be the teachers for a summer program so we gonna make some good money before college :) I'm the math teacher. I kinda don't know what I'm gonna do, but I'll fake it till I make it ;D

Well, I'll stop annoying you.

Until next time
-Vizzy

p.s. Della, if your reading this I emailed you but at first it kept telling me that there was a mess up in your email address. Then when you gave me the new one I emailed you, but have gotten no response in return :(

Say hello

Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to my little friend!

It did hurt a little, but it was like self injury, just I wasn't in control of the needle.

If I were, it wouldn't have come out this pretty.

I am so happy about the way it came out! We shall see if it needs a touch up after the swelling goes down some.

-Vizzy

Dress and books

As promised, here are some pictures of me in my dress that I bought for graduation.

It is my mom's coworker and his wife with me in the photo.

I chose this one be cause my clavicles look awesome, imho. Plus the one with me and my friend show my fat arms :( ugh.

I'm working on it though! So that's a positive way to look at it.

p.s. I have challenged myself to re-read 20 books in 14 days! Yea... I'm insane, but I love this series and the new book comes out at the of the next 14 days.

It's the Anita Blake Vampire Hunter Series by Laurell K Hamilton.

This series is NOTHING like Twilight (that mockery of literature). She began this series in 1992, so obviously the vampires are the kind that burst into flames in sunlight... THE WAY IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE! And it turns kinda smutty about the 8th book in. SO GOOD, but awkward if someone ask you what you are reading XD

Here are the books.

OBVIOUSLY I highly recommend this series if I've not only read it once, but am gonna go through them all AGAIN!

-Vizzy

Graduation

Hey there.

Guess what?

I'm done! Friday night I graduated!

I only almost tripped once when going down the stairs XD It could have been quite an even to fall on my face at my graduation :P

I have many pictures and here's one of me and a friend in our cap and gowns.

Afterwards, some of the parents had planned a secret after gaduation party for us. They took us to Pappasitos for dinner, but I really didn't eat because there was no vegetarian option. Then we went to this funhouse place. That was some fun having all of us acting like kids once again XD Finally we went to a guys house where there was a light breakfast and they gave us some gifts. Every senior got a monogramed laundry bag, iHome portable speakers, and a small waste basket filled with college necessities.

Then there was the BIG gift. Every senior had a chance to win prizes such as 26' Vizio tv, Ray Ban sunglasses, an amazon kindle, money, gas gift cards, and iPad2.

Well did you know that my luck was up that night... erm morning because I won a freaking iPad2!!!!!!!!!! It's crazy... I still don't know how I won it.

well... that's most of my eventful weekend right there. I'll put some pics up of me in my dress w/o the gown because i love it :)

Until next time,
-Vizzy

HUZAAA... It is Vizzy the blob.

Blah. I feel like a blob that is somewhat triggered to purge. Instead I'm gonna write here and gather strength that all you lovely's embody.

Yesterday I stayed over at a friends because I had graduation party that night. So when I got to her house after school I realized how CRAP some people eat. It's CRAZY! All she had was fatty processed food. I finally settled on corn tortilla with cheese for quesadilla and had some hummus.

Then at the party I didn't eat any of the food even though the brownies looked good so point for me. :) (p.s. I discovered how much living in texas for the past 14 years has not made me like country music. I was SO BORED.)

I'll save you the long story of today by summing it up this way... I have not eaten over 1000 calories in God knows how long, but TODAY I DID! Bad feelings running around very rampantly...

Well, I hope you are all doing well.

-Vizzy

Interesting encounters

Ah first things first... Last wednesday and thursday I was up in Illinois to visit a college. I stayed overnight and even got to sit in a psychology/religion class. It really took me sitting in the class to imaging myself going to school there. Plus, the financial aid is the BEST!

So, it's official... I'm going to Knox College!

Now, on to something I've been thinking about just recently... I need to become more assertive. It's bad how indecisive I can be.

Yesterday, I hung out with my best friend to look at clothes we are going to need to buy for cold, snowy weather. Once we got to her house she invited me to go dancing with her and a couple of guys. I decided to (after 30ish minutes) and change at my house.

Now yall know how I hate me body, so I wasn't feeling sexy, especially since my best friend is gorgeous and thin. When we got there I started dancing, and a short (a foot shorter since I was wearing heels) asked me to dance. I COULDN'T SAY NO. I just feel like I would be considered a bitch. After a few songs we stopped cause he wanted a drink, but I don't (he bought me water though. That was sweet.) Then I went to a different dance room and two different guy began arguing over me. (THAT was a new experience.) I just couldn't be mean and say, "I want to dance with" one or the other.

Finally I went back to the other room to get away from them both, and was approached once again. I danced with this guy for the rest of the night. He was getting frisky... I mean really frisky, but that's when I finally drew the line. I would not kiss him. I just couldn't do it.

It was soooooooo strange to actually felt wanted. To feel appeling and dare I say it... sexy.


Well if you made it this far... you are AMAZING.

Until next time,
Vizzy

I shouldn't have

Just did something I know I shouldn't have...

Why am I so good at being a disappointment.

I flushed my 5 week success down the toilet... literally.

-Vizzy

hope?

Ok. Just caught up with everyones blogs. Ooof! But I love you all, so it's the price of love :)

Any who. Those of you who haven't blogged in a while, WHAT'S GOING ON!?

Just 28 days for me until I graduate, and I still have NOT made up my mind about a college (have to chose a college by may 1st).

Next week I'll go up to visit Knox College (small liberal arts school) in Illinois. They accepted me even though I applied late, but it will still depend heavily on how much financial aid they can offer.

Sucks to be poor. Sucks that education cost so much.

And can I say cuts and scars just suck too? I hate that I have to do it, but I HAVE to do it. I don't even feel worthy enough to get a tattoo of the word "hope" on my inner right wrist when the lie lives in the inner left wrist.

Well, I need to make a youtube vlog, because I have neglected them for far too long.

Even when shit is going down in my life,
hope all is well for yall
-Vizzy

Long time no blog huh... sorry (If you actually care. It not... whatever.)

Soooooo. Time has been more of it's hating self. I'm sliding deeper and deeper in to a depression of self loathing and apathy.

If I died tomorrow it wouldn't matter. Nothing fucking matters or has value if it has to do with me.

Hell even colleges don't want me enough. It's evident that they haven't giving me enough scholarship. THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I CAN AFFORD TO PAY FOR IT. I'm poor, my family is poor.

I don't know what to do....

The only thing I seem to do on a regular basis is cut, and please others....



Fuck it all.