tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62843068702918961272024-02-19T00:00:41.130-08:00Words from a SuffererCome and read what I speak for I am not the typical girl you would think.
No, I am more complex than that.
Delve into my wold and we can have a little chat.InvisibleDisorderedOnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07149939980234355226noreply@blogger.comBlogger134125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6284306870291896127.post-22154656423394178402017-06-20T10:09:00.000-07:002017-06-20T10:10:13.763-07:00Words from the other sideMonths over due... sorry for my absence... blah blah other excuses about not updating this blog more often<br />
<br />
How you doing? Life been moving without me? Good I'm glad.<br />
<br />
I come to you now back in the great nation of Texas (or at least this state is so pretentious it WISHES it could be it's own country again). I have moved back down after finishing my master's program in clinical social work.<br />
<br />
In this blistering southern heat I have just been preparing for my social work licensing exam. In the United States, one cannot be a practicing social worker unless they are licensed and recognized in the state they wish to practice. So I have been doing practice question after practice question on the pocket prep app. I feel somewhat blasé about the exam, but I think that mostly steams from my hatred of all things standardized test. However, this test cost $230 to take, and I can't work without passing it, so I really can't afford to fail..... So fingers crossed for mw yall!<br />
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I have had 2 interviews in town thus far, one for a middle school and the other with a health clinic. Still waiting to hear from all the other applications I've submitted, but I'm hoping something pans out soon enough because I need funds!<br />
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But in other news, it's been weird being back in town as most of my adult life has been spent in other states while I was away in college, so now I feel somewhat disconnected from the life and people here. (Also doesn't help that I don't have a job, thus I don't wanna go out and do things that cost money :/) A vicious cycle. Though it's only been a few weeks, so I'll try to give it some time for me to acclimate to my new surroundings, the new dynamics at home (family drama deserves its whole own post...) and set a new groove for this new weird step in adulthood.<br />
<br />
Until next time,<br />
VizzyInvisibleDisorderedOnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07149939980234355226noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6284306870291896127.post-49797875459355688852016-08-25T21:16:00.002-07:002016-08-25T21:16:35.935-07:00blah blah... *usual excuse for my absence*... blah blahBeen some time, but it's not you. Even my own personal journal only gets occasional entries.<br />
<br />
This summer has been going well. Really have been enjoying one of my last "responsibility free-ish" summers I will have.<br />
<br />
After my summer courses, I was able to visit two good college friends whom I hadn't seen since graduating undergrad. It was awesome to get to see them in how they live now.<br />
<br />
Other than that I have been relishing in being back home for the majority of the summer hanging out with my family and best friend.<br />
<br />
I fly back out in 5 days to finish up my last year of graduate school. <i>Where has the time gone?!?!</i> I know this year will be tough and very academically demanding, but then I will be DONE! I have no plans for more school. I just wanna get out in the world with my masters in social work and start to give back and really make a difference, even if it is just in one person's life.<br />
<br />
-VizzyInvisibleDisorderedOnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07149939980234355226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6284306870291896127.post-62360711807270484682016-01-23T12:34:00.000-08:002016-01-23T12:34:07.716-08:00Stream of Consciousness Update (2 years overdue)Yo....<br />
<br />
<br />
So, it's been like 2 years or something since I've last posted an entry on this blog. Holy shit!<br />
<br />
How you been, reader? You good? I know we haven't been talking much and I apologize, but you know... sometimes life just happens and puts you on a different course with new normals. Unfortunately, blogging hasn't been one of my regular activities for a while now, and I can't promise to be super active again. However, I would like to be on here periodically. Maybe I'll set the goal of one entry a month to test the waters.<br />
<br />
idk, We'll see.<br />
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So, how have I been? Man, that's a loaded question. So much has happened and I'm at such a different point in my life.<br />
<br />
- I've graduated undergrad<br />
- Did another summer internship in the east coast with kids with mental disorders<br />
- Got accepted to all the grad schools I applied to<br />
- Started my 2yr social work graduate studies at Boston College<br />
- Moved from undergrad (Illinois) to grad school (Massachusetts)<br />
- Visited my fam and friends in Texas over breaks<br />
<br />
Yea... I've had some big fucking life transitions since I've last blogged. It's been fucking real as fuck! There are aspects of my life now that I love and aspects that I look forward to just moving past for instance: I love getting to learn about social work and therapy and trauma (basically just learning about all the real struggles that people go through and how to help them). HOWEVER, I'm not a fan of having the stress of papers and conceptualizing all this vast knowledge I've learned into some pages of text just to prove that I've learned. Fuck that academia bullshit.<br />
<br />
I wanna prove what I've learned in real life. I look forward to working in the field and getting to help people through some of the most difficult times in their lives.<br />
<br />
So yeah. That's where I've been, if you've been interested. I've just been trying to learn how to impact people's lives beyond even more than I will ever know. So, no pressure, right?<br />
<img class="irc_mi" height="282" src="https://38.media.tumblr.com/f5c1b69107899b79e0a44e7f3cf6140d/tumblr_inline_nz1yrqZe9T1r4mjpv_500.gif" style="margin-top: 78px;" width="500" /><br />
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<br />
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Anyway... thanks for being with me through this stream-of-consciousness type of talk. Hope you all stay well, and until later...<br />
<br />
Peace,<br />
VizzyOne<br />
<br />InvisibleDisorderedOnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07149939980234355226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6284306870291896127.post-68154510142297183102014-02-24T00:38:00.001-08:002014-02-24T00:38:27.146-08:00Wait... who am I?!?!!?!?!?!This account is still active? Whaaaaaa?<br />
<br />
I know I know right.<br />
<br />
I suck. Oh well. Keeping things up to date has alway been difficult for me. Apart from facebook and Tumblr, i'm not on the internet world much other than for school work. It's all been bombarding me for the past year and it's just tough to keep afloat. You know?<br />
<br />
My classes have been kicking my ass. Friends have been a bit wishy-washy. If I sense that they are getting annoyed or avoiding me, I immediately blame myself for being stupid/weird/ugly/horrible etc. and must punish myself. (My mind is a beautiful bag of fuckery).<br />
<br />
ugh. yea.<br />
<br />
I'm tired so I'm gonna try to get a few hours of shut eye before I have to get up and be "productive" or some shit :'(<br />
<br />
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-VizzyInvisibleDisorderedOnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07149939980234355226noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6284306870291896127.post-53961829451810402322013-06-10T22:54:00.000-07:002016-01-23T12:35:22.943-08:00It's never easy to say goodbyeWell yesterday I had to say goodbye and it was not easy. What's sucks even more is that I know that it won't get any easier.<br />
<br />
So if you don't know, or have forgotten, I have been dating my boyfriend J for about 7 months now. We began dating at my college, it was my sophomore year and he was here to study abroad for a year and improve his english. We both came into the relationship VERY honestly and very hesitantly since we knew that his time in the US was limited.<br />
<br />
Despite our efforts to not get totally emotionally devoted to one another... we fell in love anyway -_-<br />
I am so in love with him and he makes me happy, makes me sad though that I can't have him with me. Just yesterday he left me. Off back to France. A time difference of 7 hours!<br />
<br />
Texting (when he turns his phone back on) might get expensive. Skype is always free, but limited in when we can use it conveniently for both of us. I think every once in a while I will send him a letter through snail mail (just find it to be a little more intimate and shows an extra sign of caring). But nothing can really make up for the closeness of having someone with you. :(<br />
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I have kinda been a mess, but hopefully it will get better as time goes on and I continue to talk with J. I hope that coming this winter vacation time I can visit him in France or he can come and visit me in the US.<br />
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That is 5 months from now though :'(<br />
<br />
Damn.<br />
<br />
Plus the research that I am planning to do this summer doesn't look good because the other school I wanted to collect data from denied my proposal. Fuckers! And they didn't even tell me why. Ugh! Whatever. Hopefully my mentor can help me figure out what the fuck to do from this point.<br />
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So basically life has been the same and just fucks me over. Damn<br />
<br />
- VizzyInvisibleDisorderedOnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07149939980234355226noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6284306870291896127.post-40390880358907047232013-05-08T16:40:00.000-07:002013-05-08T16:40:42.841-07:00I'm not deadNot exactly living either...<br />
<br />
Now that's some philosophical shit for you to ponder.<br />
<br />
How have all of you been? I don't even know how long it has been since I was last on here. Ooops.<br />
<br />
Well I have 3 weeks of classes left. This is SO exciting because it kills half of my stress. Then I just have to worry about my research that I am doing this summer. (Don't get me wrong. I'm still freaking out, but I'm trying to do that AND class work, so it will be nice to be done with the latter.)<br />
<br />
On the down side, this means that I only have 3 short weeks with my boyfriend before he leaves the country :(<br />
I don't want to be one of those overly attached girls for a guy, but I do really care for him. I don't know if we'll make it with the distance, but I hope we do.<br />
<br />
Oh well, this was just a brief brief update. I'm gonna go to the gym in a bit.<br />
<br />
Until next time,<br />
VizzyInvisibleDisorderedOnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07149939980234355226noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6284306870291896127.post-16433779010435509262013-05-04T10:29:00.001-07:002013-05-04T10:29:46.813-07:00Sexism and the fight for Women's Rights (Abridged)Watch this video! It's is really eye opening in the fact that we have not progressed that far as a society.<br />
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- VizzyInvisibleDisorderedOnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07149939980234355226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6284306870291896127.post-11220496008309700472012-12-18T14:40:00.000-08:002012-12-18T14:40:40.582-08:00I could rip my eyes out I am so bored! I've been on winter break for the last 4 weeks. Don't get me wrong, I love being able to sleep and not have exams and homework to worry about. However, since my university runs on trimesters, my breaks don't match up well with my friends. This means that for the last 4 weeks I have been prisoner of my home with NOTHING to do.<br />
<br />
You don't even want to know how many hours I have used watching Netflix -__- It's just sad.<br />
My best friend will be getting back tomorrow though, so hopefully I can see her then and if not, then on thursday. Then I'll only be in town for a week before I fly back to school so I can see my beau ^_^<br />
<br />
On a different note, last week I managed to sneak away to the "special lady doctor". I am smart and reasonable. I had been putting off seeing this doctor for a while because I told myself "Well I'll just go once I become sexually active". Well, seeing as I feel of the virginity boat, I knew I had to go.<br />
Also I FEAR with everything in me getting preggers (considering that I never want to have kids of my own, that should let you know just how much I REALLY wouldn't want to get pregnant now). So I went got the exam, and am now on the pill. I just started Ortho TriCyclen Lo on sunday, and so far everything has been okay. I am keeping my eating in check as well as working out to prevent the supposed weight gain that can go along with being on an oral contraceptive.<br />
<br />
So yea... this has been my life.... Dull as ever -_-'<br />
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Someone please talk to me cause the loneliness during the day is like pulling out my fingernails. So much fun... NOT!<br />
<br />
Until next time,<br />
VizzyInvisibleDisorderedOnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07149939980234355226noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6284306870291896127.post-7149011973890742232012-12-05T21:39:00.000-08:002012-12-05T21:39:05.174-08:00Award timeWow, I've actually been given an award by <a href="http://immortalvampiricshadow.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Vampire</a><br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rxvhrxQt6lw/UMAiiP5S5iI/AAAAAAAAAEI/wJlz8xPG6Mk/s1600/liebster+blog+leeby.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rxvhrxQt6lw/UMAiiP5S5iI/AAAAAAAAAEI/wJlz8xPG6Mk/s1600/liebster+blog+leeby.jpg" /></a></div>
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^_^ Thank you so much, and as with awards there are some things I must do.<br />
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #444444;">The rules:</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #444444;">You post 11 things about yourself</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #444444;">ask 11 questions</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #444444;">tag 11 people with no more than 200 followers</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Things about me:</span></div>
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<ol>
<li>I didn't have my first kiss until I was 19.</li>
<li>I have a love/hate relationship with pilates, but I do it anyway</li>
<li>My major in school is psychology</li>
<li>The last weekend in December I am going to visit Chicago with my boyfriend since he has never been.</li>
<li>I am a vegetarian.</li>
<li>I woke up crying yesterday (first time that ever happened)</li>
<li>I have been listening to Mumford and Sons and Lana Del Rey non stop</li>
<li>I can't read music, but I wish I could</li>
<li>I am really bored on break from college since my college gets out 3 weeks before other schools</li>
<li>I am actually considering studying art as my minor to go further with my photography</li>
<li>I know that my current relationship most likely has a definitive end date (we both still walked into it never the less -_-')</li>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> My response to Vampire's questions:</span></div>
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<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">What is your favorite blog? </span><span style="background-color: #d9ead3; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">I haven't had time to really keep up with any because of school :(</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">Who is your role model and why? </span><span style="background-color: #d9ead3; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">Angelina Jolie because she is such a good person</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">What's your major in college? (If not in college, what are your interests?) </span><span style="background-color: #d9ead3;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">P</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">sychology</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Utopia, Palatino Linotype, Palatino, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666;">Favorite alcohol (or drink)? </span><span style="background-color: white;">W</span><span style="background-color: #d9ead3;">ell it's not legal for me to know this yet, in the US, but it's a tie between tequila and rum *hehe* </span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">F</span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="background-color: white;">avorite book? </span></span><span style="background-color: #d9ead3;"><u>Burned</u> by Ellen Hopkins</span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 15px;">Favorite movie? </span><span style="background-color: #d9ead3; font-size: 15px;">Little Miss Sunshine</span></span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">Favorite season? </span><span style="background-color: #d9ead3; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">Spring</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">Do you like or dislike these "favorite ___" questions? </span><span style="background-color: #d9ead3; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">Don't mind them</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">Where do you hang out/spend most of your time? </span><span style="background-color: #d9ead3; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">Usually in my room (both at home and college)</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><span style="background-color: white;">Where do you want to be in 5 years? </span></span><span style="background-color: #d9ead3;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Utopia, Palatino Linotype, Palatino, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">In 5 years I hope to be on my way to attaining my PhD in Psychology</span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">What is your least favorite color? </span><span style="background-color: #d9ead3; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">I'm not the biggest fan of orange</span></li>
</ol>
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My new questions:</div>
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<ol>
<li>Favorite dessert?</li>
<li>How old were you when you had your first boyfriend/girlfriend?</li>
<li>How many push-ups can you do? </li>
<li>Want kids in the future? If so, how many?</li>
<li>Have a Tumblr? If so, wanna share so your readers can follow you?</li>
<li>Any special and/or unusual talents?</li>
<li>Any imaginary friends when you were young?</li>
<li>Which do you prefer, halloween or christmas?</li>
<li>Favorite song right now?</li>
<li>What would your 13 year old self tell you now?</li>
<li>Look to your right, what do you see?</li>
</ol>
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Who I give this award to:</div>
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<ol>
<li><a href="http://foreverpessimist.blogspot.com/2012/09/read.html">Perfecting my Emptiness</a></li>
<li><a href="http://tinyredfoxes.blogspot.com/2011/05/last-night.html">Alive Anyway</a></li>
<li><a href="http://laurenjoyness.blogspot.com/">I Was A Kaleidoscope</a></li>
<li><a href="http://nomorenumbers.blogspot.com/">Thinner</a></li>
</ol>
..... umm I don't follow too many people so if you happen to stumble upon this and want to do it. Go for it :)<ol>
</ol>
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Okay, that's it for now.</div>
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Until next time,</div>
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- Vizzy</div>
InvisibleDisorderedOnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07149939980234355226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6284306870291896127.post-38266875742427664232012-11-24T17:15:00.000-08:002012-11-26T08:10:54.969-08:00I'm not deadThough y'all probably wouldn't know it unless you follow me on tumblr or we talk in other ways.<br />
<br />
Oooooo my God! So much has happened to me in the last 3 months at school that it just makes my head spin. First, like usual, I will say that I am a failure blogger for I suck at blogging at a regular pace, but whatever. I do what I can.<br />
<br />
I don't want to take up to much of y'all's lives, so I will keep this post short and sweet and up date y'all on the biggest happening of my life.<br />
<br />
Sooo, I have a boyfriend. As in my first boyfriend EVER! Took 20 fucking years to reach this point but finally I am here. Y'all remember in my last post how I was kinda interested in Jay? Yea... Well after all the flirting and talking over the summer, I think he just liked the chance. I don't think he ever was interested in more. Whatever. I'm not gonna say that it didn't hurt, but whatever, I can just focus on being his friend now since I had a different guy to be my beau. ^_^<br />
<br />
Now, I met my current boyfriend at a Halloween party. So romantic right? :P anyway. I was pretty drunk after many rum shots so I said yes when he asked me to dance and even kissed him when he leaned in. Later we stepped out cause he wanted my cell phone number. He tried to get me to go to his dorm with him, but NO, I was out with my roommate and had the keys on me. Plus I wasn't gonna go with this guy that I just met. He just walked me to my door and that was that.<br />
<br />
I wasn't expecting anything more to come out of that night, but he surprised me by calling me the next day. Ever since then we had been texting sporadically. Then closer to the end of the term, hung out a few times (watching movies, talking.... Kissing, yes a lot of good kissing) hehehe<br />
<br />
Anywho, he had ALWAYS been very honest with me. I mean on that first night we met, he had told me how he is only studying in America for one year, and that he didn't want a relationship. I completely respected that, but I feel like even so, we began getting closer and closer. On the night before I was going to come back home for winter break, I was with friends, but then left to see him. We went to his room to have some privacy since his roommate was already gone. Long story short... That was my first time having sex and it was wonderful. No not just because it was sex and it feels good, but it was honest. No presence, no show, just two people that like each other.<br />
<br />
The next morning I had to get my luggage, so he woke me up since he put an alarm on his phone. We headed to my room and he helped me take my stuff.<br />
<br />
Since I got home we had just continued to text and IM on Skype. Then one day the conversation turned to the night we were together. He said "I don't want you sleeping with other guys". I had responded jokingly with "oh are you just trying to keep me all to yourself?" Well we ended up deciding that we were gonna start dating! (And yes he agreed not to be with other girls, so it's not like he was just trying to limit me. No need to hurt him yet for my honor :P)<br />
<br />
I am so excited cause I really do like him, just kinda sad that when we officially start dating, I had just flown back home -_- oh well. We have text and Skype to keep us in touch until I get back in December. I'm gonna go back a bit early so I can hangout with him and we are gonna visit Chicago :)<br />
<br />
Soooo yea. My life has changed SO much, but I think it's all for the better.<br />
<br />
<br />
Until next time,<br />
VizzyInvisibleDisorderedOnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07149939980234355226noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6284306870291896127.post-16389155606799145902012-09-10T09:03:00.000-07:002012-09-10T09:03:16.472-07:00I am not to be picked up -_-Okay. HEEEEEEELLLLLLLOOOOO! (-Mrs. Doubtfire reference)<br />
<br />
Any who... I am back at school.<br />
Here's a quick recap of this weekends events<br />
<b>Friday</b><br />
-Going away/birthday (for my parents) party with family<br />
<br />
<b>Saturday</b><br />
-Traveled all morning<br />
-Got here saturday afternoon<br />
-went walmart to pick up some stuff that I needed<br />
-ate dinner with my roomates grandparents (they like me ^_^)<br />
-Unpacked a bit<br />
- hung out with Jay the rest of the night <b>(Will explain this more later in the post)</b><br />
<br />
<b>Sunday</b><br />
-Woke up for brunch<br />
- got the rest of my crap from storage<br />
- fixed up my room<br />
- helped a friend carry all her stuff from storage<br />
- Went to Pumphandle (a school tradition where you end up shaking ever person's hand in the entire school!)<br />
- Watched a movie on the lawn of the school (The Lorax... it's a really good movie :D)<br />
<br />
Now that brings us to today. The first day of classes. I have only had one so far and one more later in the day. If you are wondering I'm taking Health Psychology, Research Statistics (Psychology), and Photography I.<br />
<br />
Now... if you wonder where the title of this entry spawned, well that was when I hung out with Jay. Like I said previously, he has been on campus for a while because of soccer practice. After I unpacked one box I decided to hang out with him because we never got that chance last year... casue I'm a failure at things, but all is well now! We walked around campus a bit and then went to his dorm. We ended up watching this weird movie with HORRENDOUS acting, but it was pretty entertaining in how bad it was XD.<br />
<br />
Afterward we just started walking around campus again. It was sooo cold. I have been in hot ass Texas for the past three months so I have to get readjusted to the cooler midwest weather. (It probably didn't help that I was wearing a tank top, shorts, and a cardigan... but that's just what I traveled in and didn't bother changing).<br />
<br />
We ended up by the soccer field and just sat on the bench. It was funny though how I could tell he was using excuses to touch me. Like he was trying to "keep me warm" with his arms around me, but he is too thin for that to really work XD. (Hence why my friends refer to him as "Lanky"). But he was hugging me and holding my hand. At one point he was hugging me and decided to pick me up. -_- Do I feel comfortable with this? FUCK NO! I'm a fucking fat ass and he is a fucking bean pole! But NOOOOO! He did it any way -_-.<br />
<br />
THEN! at another point he wanted me to sit on him. WHY! GOD WHY!!!! I am not small. I know this fact every time I walk past a mirror or scale. I'm trying to start accept my body, but I am not there yet! No but he just pulled me anyway and was hugging me. I just don't know... I guess I just need more time to process everything. I mean I believe I'm at the point where I can admit to myself that I may like him (and if you know me, admitting anything to myself about my feelings is a BIG fucking step!)<br />
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Well, I don't know. I suppose just writing out everything will help me process everything.<br />
<br />
Until next time<br />
- VizzyInvisibleDisorderedOnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07149939980234355226noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6284306870291896127.post-40080566238742114292012-08-23T00:34:00.001-07:002012-08-23T00:34:54.059-07:00Doing something I haven't in a while Oh hello there... Nice yo see you in this neighborhood. *spring up Mr. Roger's tv show theme music*<br />
<br />
Okay. I'll make a list of things that I intend to put here now so that I won't forget anything.<br />
- Me and a gentleman caller<br />
- Weight<br />
- My attempt at recovery<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>1) Me and the gentleman caller ()</b><br />
Okay, I'll start with possibly the thing that most of you couldn't give two fucks about. I respect that, but if you do happen to want to know about my personal attempt at a love life (bahahaha... I am pathetic), then continue with this section.<br />
<br />
Well if you don't remember the guy that I told you back in the entry titled <a href="http://wordsfromasufferer.blogspot.com/2012/05/done.html" target="_blank">DONE!</a> you can go there to get to see how this began a few months ago. Well any who, I think i have forgot to mention, but after he left to go back to Africa for summer vacation we weren't into much contact. I mean we would probably speak through Facebook chat once a week at the most. It was always impromptu but cool never the less. Quite honestly I didn't know what I should be thinking about him. I mean, am I just making most of the interest up in my head, or does he actually have interest in ME?<br />
<br />
Weeeeeelllll, on monday, all the athletes got to go back to my university to begin practicing for 3 weeks before the rest of us just go for classes. Well guess who surprises me with a text when he's back in the states? That's right, that same guy. (this is getting weird to call him "the guy"... I'll give him the fake name of Jay). Yup, so whenever he has free time from soccer practice he text me (so usually it's just for like an hour before he goes to bed).<br />
<br />
Should I be excited? I mean he's already said that we need to hangout and I agree, but it freaks me out. My friends always ask me how I feel about him, and honestly I don't know. I have NEVER felt good enough for anybody, so now having this possibility. It scares the fuck out of me.<br />
<br />
well... 2 and a half more weeks until I get on campus and get to see what happens O_O<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>2 & 3) My weight and recovery (attempts)</b><br />
I would love to say that I have lost the last 40lbs that have kept me from my goal weight, but I have not. I have actually been at the same weight since I left school and flew back home for vacation. :/ I have been working out like a mad woman. Running 3 times a week, strength training and pilates on the days that I am not running. My eating has been awesome. Hardly any junk however.....<br />
<br />
(this is where the recovery attempt comes in)<br />
<br />
I have been at this same weight since my last year of high school (and that was with working out and restricting myself to 300 calories). I truly believe that I have fucked my metabolism up REALLY badly.<br />
Therefor, I have decided that I am SLOWLY upping my calorie intake until it is at a healthy level.<br />
<br />
Now, we all know that simply "eating more" will NOT fix my head. TRUST ME IT DOESN'T! It is so hard, but I am slowly trying this. (No one other than yall know about my food issues, so I am going solo on this whole "recovery" thing). I probably need to see a counselor to really get at the depth of my issues, but for now I don't have that. All I have is a recovery workbook online, and my slow calorie increases.<br />
<br />
Results? (I started this "recovery" on the beginning of June)<br />
<br />
Eating more and doing pilates has really helped me to tone. I have not lost weight on the scale, but I see more muscle that refused to get there before.<br />
<br />
<br />
So I don't know how this is going to last when I go back to university and have stress and such again, but we will just have to see...<br />
<br />
<br />
okay... I think that was everything. If you have any questions or comments, feel free to tell me them.<br />
It's 2:30 a.m. so I'm gonna to crash in bed now.<br />
<br />
Until next time,<br />
VizzyInvisibleDisorderedOnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07149939980234355226noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6284306870291896127.post-13309731140173615672012-08-16T23:00:00.001-07:002012-08-16T23:00:10.482-07:00Randomly textingGood morning sexual...<div>
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(I fell very Jenna Marbles-y at 1am)</div>
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Anywho, where have I been, home mostly. Just sitting around bored. :/</div>
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Worked finished about 2 weeks ago and since then I have really had NOTHING to do. I have taken to Netflix and occasionally trollin on Omegle. (If you are not familiar with the site, it's like Chat Roulette, but has more emphasis on instant messaging strangers rather than video chatting.)</div>
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<br /></div>
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On the site I really like to type of the lyrics to Hello by Lionel Richie. It's fun cause most of the time it's just a bunch of horny teen guys. The song reference just goes over their head. Once in a while I will run across someone who gets it and we'll have a really great conversation.</div>
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This brings me to now... I happened to start talking to one random guy on the site. Now we are texting. It's interesting cause I don't know if it is just a thing with guys on this site, or a guy thing in general, but he wanted topless pics of my boobs.</div>
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OOOOHHHHH BOY! He was barking up the wrong tree. I am not the type of woman to do such things. I mean even if I liked my body I wouldn't do such a think. I mean SERIOUSLY!</div>
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<br /></div>
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I told him this and for some odd reason we are still talking. :/ I can imagine that after a while he will, but whatevs it's a good cure for boredom while it last.</div>
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Until next time</div>
<div>
- Vizzy</div>
InvisibleDisorderedOnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07149939980234355226noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6284306870291896127.post-78753546390163058542012-07-17T19:08:00.002-07:002012-07-17T19:11:58.767-07:00Believing the unbelievableLong time no blog.<br />
<br />
I would apologize or something, but no one probably cares or reads these. Therefore, I shall just treat this an online diary for me incase I ever want to look back at this day.<br />
<br />
I have NOT been doing good. I'm on summer break, about half way through. I am working as a math teacher like I have previous summers. Other than work I have no life. I just stay home and work on lesson plans for the next day.<br />
<br />
All that considered, I have been pretty shit recently. I have felt lonely. The thoughts in my head have been evil and on repeat. It's like when I begin to feel the slightest bit better with myself, it all comes crumbling down and I my mind lets me know how stupid it was to even hope. Things are getting so bad that I am the closest I have been to self injuring than I have in the past 2 months.<br />
<br />
I <i>think</i> the source of my recent disappointment has to do with a boy. (<i>THIS</i> is why I don't get emotionally invested. <i>THIS</i> is why I can't trust people. <b><i>THIS!</i></b>) Okay. Let me explain. Back at school, when I started drinking to deal with shit I went out one night. I danced with a guy, we shall call him E. I had never seen him before and didn't really see him until the <i>next </i>party. I mean literally every party after he managed to find me and ask me to dance. Then we became Facebook friends and began to talk. I was supposed to hangout with him the night before he was leaving, but because of stupid things, I couldn't. <i>However,</i> he called me right before left in his taxi. He called me and we hugged outside of his taxi.<br />
<br />
I really had no clue to think of it. I felt that he would think <i>"Wow! What a bitch she didn't hang out with me"</i>; however, the next morning I get a text from him saying "I'm about to board the plane. I'm so glad that I got to see you before I left".<br />
<br />
WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO WITH THAT?<br />
<br />
Now like I said, and I have had only fleeting conversations on FB with him. (Oh, did I forget to mention that he lives in Africa and I'm in the U.S. so there is a 7 hour time difference?) He has mentioned that he wants to hang out with me once we get back to school.<br />
<br />
What I want is to get to talk with him more and figure out what the hell his intention is. Is he really interested in me or are my fears correct in knowing that no one would ever want me.<br />
<br />
wow... this turned long.... I'll just end it now.<br />
<br />
-VizzyInvisibleDisorderedOnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07149939980234355226noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6284306870291896127.post-84913032304773066302012-05-29T17:55:00.000-07:002012-05-29T17:55:03.719-07:00DONE!Finally my first fucking year of college is over. Just 3 more to go until I get me B.A. in Psychology. Ugh. I'm so tired.<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
For the past week I have been getting about 3 hours of sleep each night because I was too busy studying and writing papers *facepalm*</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
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I'm done now. I don't know how I did and won't until perhaps sometime in June. It scares me because I really want to do well. :/</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
Well on a different and non academic note. I have developed the habit of drinking to destress. It is fine and I have never gotten sick like that one night that I explained to y'all. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
One weekend, when I went out I happened to dance with this guy. Whatever, probably a fluke and we'll never see each other again. I was okay with that since I didn't really know him or see him around campus. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
Then he danced with me again at a different party... then finally last weekend. It's like he found me at EVERY party.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
So I decided, what the hell, I'm not just gonna look for him and add him on Facebook. Just get to know who the fuck this random ass guy was that I happened to dance with all the time. When I added him, he sprung up a conversation almost immediately. I found to that he is actually a pretty cool and funny guy. He asked me if we could hang out monday (yesterday) before he left. (He's an international student). I said yes, but forgot that I told a different friend that I would hang out at his frat and drink.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I decided that I could split the time, but it ended up being that I couldn't hang out with him because I didn't know that he was leaving at 3 a.m. He called me right before he left and when he saw me he got out of the cab and hugged me. I felt like such a bitch for not hanging out with him like I said I would. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
I felt REALLY bad, but then the next morning I see this text from him "Hey! I'm about to board right now. Thanks for showing up. I almost thought I wasn't gonna see ya! :)"</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
My friends all say that he has a crush on me but I just don't know. I know I'm personally the kind of person that refuses to invest my feeling toward someone until I know that they are at least a little interested in me.</div>
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Should I like him? Why would/should anyone ever like me?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
ugh. Emotions are complicated, but I have a whole 3 months until I see him in person again. We'll just have to see if we are still talking over the summer break. :/</div>
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<br /></div>
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Sincerely confused,</div>
<div>
- Vizzy</div>InvisibleDisorderedOnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07149939980234355226noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6284306870291896127.post-68186501384864785852012-05-10T00:10:00.002-07:002012-05-10T00:10:13.089-07:00Someone like me?Good God it's been FOREVER since I've had time to get on here. I'm beyond behind on all the blogs that I haven't had the chance to read (about 4 moths of blog entries that I have not gotten to). I am so sorry! Believe me! I have been wanting to get on here, but school os eating my lunch and kicking my ass.<br />
<br />
I've been using parting on the weekend as my new escapist behavior. (That's slightly better than constantly cutting and purging, right? Or am I just making excuses?)<br />
<br />
On that note, I'm about 97% positive that roommate has been purging. There are just too many things that I see her do that I have done.<br />
Examples behind my reasoning:<br />
- taking out the trash often even if it isn't full<br />
- late night puking [although the first time I heard it I gave her the benefit of the doubt and just thought she was really sick with the flu]<br />
- spraying air freshener after "taking out trash"<br />
- just the general noises that go with purging [although i'm a fairly silent purger]<br />
<br />
and is it sick that I went out to the trash in the hall to check the bag she tossed and it seemed to have small vomit type chunks. Didn't want to get to into it though. Yuck! (But I mean REALLY? She didn't even tie up the bag. Dumb move.)<br />
<br />
I really don't know what to do with this information. I don't want to confront her because I wouldn't want to be confronted myself. I mean, what is there to do? We all know that there is no getting better if we are not ready to get better.<br />
<br />
I don't know. All I know is that I'm huge and now I feel the need to compete with her even though she's already smaller than me. (Who the fuck isn't!? I'm a fatty -_- )<br />
<br />
Que será, será. (Whatever will be, will be.)<br />
-Vizzy<br />
<br />
<br />InvisibleDisorderedOnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07149939980234355226noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6284306870291896127.post-77856370687027554502012-03-20T18:05:00.000-07:002012-03-20T18:05:00.104-07:00Firsts<br />
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Well, last night happens to be filled with a couple of first for me.</div>
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So my best friend is visiting me here at my college because she has spring break. (I start classes tomorrow).</div>
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Anywho...</div>
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A mutual friend of ours is in a fraternity and we decided to hang out with him in his frat house. We go over and I decide "FUCK IT" I'm gonna drink. (Mind you I have NEVER drank alcohol EVER in my 19 years of life).</div>
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Nothing bad happened I didn't get sick. I really kept myself in check and I'm proud. (Something that was probably keeping me in check was the fact that alcohol has calories and my ED needs to keep shit in check. I guess it worked out for the best this time :D)</div>
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Well... later they ask if I wanna smoke Hookah. Once again I decide "Fuck it! Why not." It actually wasn't that bad. It was mango flavored which is good.</div>
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Then we just stayed up talking till 6 a.m. so we crashed at the frat house. (I also forgot the keys to my dorm so it was a bonus :P)</div>
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My best friend got kinda extra friendly with one of the guys in the fraternity so I was kinda worried for her, but the guy does seem nice and respectful. Basically he wouldn't do anything that she said no to. (But knowing her and the shit she has been going through, she can go further and further.) I know she has to make her own decisions and I really have no control over what she does, but she's my best friend. I can't help but worry you know?</div>
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Anywho, my first hookah and drinking experiences were okay, but I really can't see myself doing that regularly. Just not my thing.</div>
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- Vizzy</div>InvisibleDisorderedOnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07149939980234355226noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6284306870291896127.post-41601575562660845142012-03-06T12:16:00.002-08:002012-03-06T12:16:57.337-08:00Thank you <a href="http://self-professedperfectionist.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Leigh</a> and <a href="http://glueandpieces.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Peri</a> for the kind words.<br />
<br />
After the b/p session I just sat in the shower for an hour with the hot water running on me. Just 2 finals and a paper left in these next 4 days. :/<br />
<br />
I have eaten okay so far today and I'm gonna go to the gym tonight to work off some steam.<br />
<br />
Take care!<br />
- VizztInvisibleDisorderedOnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07149939980234355226noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6284306870291896127.post-13254152423550550002012-03-06T00:25:00.001-08:002012-03-06T00:25:36.088-08:00When the finals are on their way...the eating disorders come out to play.<br />
<br />
<br />
I hate this shit.<br />
<br />
- VizzyInvisibleDisorderedOnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07149939980234355226noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6284306870291896127.post-22098976550323355652012-02-19T19:08:00.000-08:002012-02-19T19:08:02.136-08:00Hello...<br />
<br />
I hope all of you are having a good Sunday night (or a: good [insert appropriate phrase here]).<br />
<br />
I have to be honest because I hate people that put on fronts. I'm not doing so hot. I am to the point of considering to go to my University's counselor office. I would have to make an appointment, then actually go, then actually talk.<br />
<br />
I don't think I can do all that, especially the talk to a stranger about stuff part.<br />
<br />
Oh well. I really just came here to tell everyone that is not doing well like me that you are most certainly NOT alone. I know I feel super alone and like I have no one to talk to and I don't want any of you to feel the way I do right now.<br />
<br />
It sucks! Eating disorders are not fun and games. They are lonely and bitches.<br />
<br />
<br />
- VizzyInvisibleDisorderedOnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07149939980234355226noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6284306870291896127.post-5780178976125740592012-02-03T20:56:00.000-08:002012-02-03T20:56:40.168-08:00Finally have a minute to breatheThis has been the weekend from HELL! Why what I so stupid when I picked out my classes for this term? I have three reading intensive classes meaning that I have nearly no free time. *facedesk*<br />
<br />
In case your wondering, I'm currently taking Black Psychology, Spanish Literature, and the culture of the Caribbean.<br />
<br />
Believe you me... I will be picking out WAY better combinations for classes from here on. I have learned my lesson!<br />
<br />
This weekend I have to study for a mid-term and write a 5 page paper, but while I have a little time, I just wanted to stop in and say hi. Hello :)<br />
<br />
Now I'm off to catch up on all the blogs I haven't been able to read.<br />
<br />
- Vizzy<br />
<br />
p.s. Yesterday and today I have been able to go to the gym for the first time in 2 weeks and I feel awesome!InvisibleDisorderedOnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07149939980234355226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6284306870291896127.post-22252989690001339272012-01-19T18:42:00.000-08:002012-01-19T18:48:51.470-08:00Your request is my command...Well sometimes. Basically if they are simple enough XD<br />
<br />
Upon special request I will put up a video of me playing my uke.<br />
<br />
(This is my only video so far because it was the only one I recorded during break. I'm a bit of a perfectionist and it is not that easy to get a perfect recording) I even added background vocals at one part, I had to edit it... it was a lot of work basically XD<br />
<br />
As I say in the video, I was bored and needed something to do during break so I made this for my friend and the guy she has a crush on.<br />
<br />
I LOVE this song! <b>It is Parachute by Ingrid Michaelson.</b><br />
Enjoy.<br />
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-Vizzy</div>
<br />InvisibleDisorderedOnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07149939980234355226noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6284306870291896127.post-46759650772190618342012-01-17T20:28:00.000-08:002012-01-17T20:28:04.108-08:00Oh my!WOW! I have been awarded...<br />
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This is exciting. Thank you <a href="http://glueandpieces.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Peri</a> for being such a wonderful person in my life.<br />
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Okay. On to 7 things I like and 5 people I shall share this award with.<br />
1) I am awesome in bed. I can sleep for hours! (Yea... I know where some of your minds went XD)<br />
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2) I can not go long spaces of time without singing/playing ukulele/guitar... basically any form of musical expression.<br />
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3) Sometimes I procrastinate buy buying things for great deals online. I have been staying warm because of my awesome buys (but now that I have my warm necessities... i don't think I can do this for the rest of my college career :( )<br />
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4) Sometimes I love watching people do the craziest shit. (This works exceptionally well at parties.) It's kinda funny AND I actually remember all the stupid stuff they did, while they don't.<br />
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5) I love my tattoo and am DYING to get a new one! Spring break, come faster.<br />
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6) I'm glad to be really bonding with two of the girls in my dorm. We are all wonderfully antisocial most of the time so it works out :)<br />
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7) I really like the feeling after a workout. That feeling on invincibility, weird I know, but this is me. :)<br />
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Now, I share this with:<br />
<a href="http://foreverpessimist.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">PME</a><br />
<a href="http://goroshechek.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Sweet pea</a><br />
<a href="http://beauty-creativity.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Amber</a><br />
Holly<br />
and my last person is any one that feels like procrastinating :)<br />
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-Vizzy<br />
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<br />InvisibleDisorderedOnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07149939980234355226noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6284306870291896127.post-51302622173607840922012-01-14T19:33:00.000-08:002012-01-14T19:33:00.116-08:00A-ZAs a procrastination tactic on this miserable saturday night. (It's miserable because I NEVER get sick, yet I have been getting a sore throat and a runny nose. Basically the other girls in my dorm are trying to convince me that I am sick, but this is so rare for me that I can't recognize it.)<br />
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Peri did this, so now I shall to!<br />
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Here are the things about me... A through Z.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><b>A. Age:</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">19... Nothing particularly special about this age.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><b>B. Bed size:</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"> Full size at home; twin size at college</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><b>C. Chore you hate:</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"> Cleaning room.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><b>D. Dogs:</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"> We have one family dog, Kobe.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><b>E. Essential start to your day:</b> Bitching about why the morning has arrived</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><b>F. Favourite color:</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"> Purple</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><b>G. Gold or silver:</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">I like silver, but I can pull off wearing gold.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><b>H. Height:</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">5'6"... kinda wish I was at least 2 inches taller :/ Oh well, I can wear taller heels :)</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><b>I. Instrument you play:</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"> Acoustic guitar and Ukelele</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><b>J. Job title:</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"> Teacher durning the summer & student that calls for donations for my university</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><b>K. Kids:</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"> None yet... maybe I'll adopt some in the future</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><b>L. Live:</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"> Houston, Texas (only reason I put it is because Houston is so big so y'all can't stalk me, unless I you are one of my good friends)</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><b>M. Mother's name:</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"> Norma</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><b>N. Nicknames:</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"> Mimi (only family calls me this)</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><b>O. Overnight hospital stays:</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">I guess just when I was born</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><b>P. Pet peeves:</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"> People that think their perspective is the only way to think</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><b>Q. Quote from a movie:</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"> "</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">You know what? Fuck beauty contests. Life is one fucking beauty contest after another. School, then college, then work... Fuck that. And fuck the Air Force Academy. If I want to fly, I'll find a way to fly. You do what you love, and fuck the rest.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">" - Little Miss Sunshine</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><b>R. Right or left:</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">Right handed</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><b>S. Siblings:</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"> One younger sister</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><b>T. Typical day:</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">Wake-up, make protein shake, get dressed, get to class, lunch, surf internet, dinner, homework, workout, get ready for bed, sleep</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><b>U. Underwear:</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"> Yes?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><b>V. Vegetable you hate:</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"> I like all vegetables seeing as I'm a vegetarian.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><b>W. What makes you run late:</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"> Not checking the time before class, so by the time I notice, I'm running out the door</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><b>X. X-Rays:</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"> just the normal dentist ones</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><b>Y. Yummy food that you make:</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"> I make awesome vegetarian enchiladas for my family.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><b>Z. Zoo animal:</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">OWLS!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span>InvisibleDisorderedOnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07149939980234355226noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6284306870291896127.post-70217681041703350742012-01-01T14:26:00.000-08:002012-01-01T14:26:04.978-08:00New Year... New rant<br />
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<i>I'm not too big on the whole New Year's Resolution thing</i></div>
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<i>but I have to admit that I did make goals for last year.</i></div>
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<i>In 2011 I:</i></div>
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<i>- I successfully began to read up on and just general research on veganism. (I even had bouts of time when was eating vegan)</i></div>
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<i>- Started the 100 theme challenge (didn’t finish, but I was doing that for more fun just so I could keep writing my poetry)</i></div>
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<i>- Began running like crazy. (I was that one crazy college kid that was always in the gym even though I’m not in a sport)</i></div>
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<i>Yup… So I just general things that seem like fun and would be awesome to do. I don’t make resolutions to “completely change myself”. Fuck that. If people really want to change their outlook, they can do so any day, any time, any where. No need to wait for January 1st or monday ect. If you want it, do it.</i></div>
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<strong style="margin-bottom: 0px !important; margin-top: 0px !important; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: 0px;"><i>Period.</i></strong></div>
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This is what I put on Tumblr. It just irks me sometimes that some people are making all these resolution, and to the people with real intention behind it, more power to them; <b>however</b>, the ones that just feel that "It's a new year, so it's gonna be different now". No. It's not like the universe is just going to suddenly make everything easy just because it is now 2012.</div>
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This is why I am a proponent for people that start in the middle of the year or week or day. It doesn't matter when you start, just that you do. You are the same person you were yesterday... the only difference is what you do.</div>
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Enough of my rant. Sorry if this feels like a downer, but I'm a realist and I want people to do things because they want real change, not just cause it's a new year and everyone is saying "I want to lose weight"</div>
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happy new year!</div>
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-Vizzy</div>InvisibleDisorderedOnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07149939980234355226noreply@blogger.com2