My Life's Scrapbook

Monday, September 10, 2012

I am not to be picked up -_-

Okay. HEEEEEEELLLLLLLOOOOO! (-Mrs. Doubtfire reference)

Any who... I am back at school.
Here's a quick recap of this weekends events
-Going away/birthday (for my parents) party with family

-Traveled all morning
-Got here saturday afternoon
-went walmart to pick up some stuff that I needed
-ate dinner with my roomates grandparents (they like me ^_^)
-Unpacked a bit
- hung out with Jay the rest of the night (Will explain this more later in the post)

-Woke up for brunch
- got the rest of my crap from storage
- fixed up my room
- helped a friend carry all her stuff from storage
- Went to Pumphandle (a school tradition where you end up shaking ever person's hand in the entire school!)
- Watched a movie on the lawn of the school (The Lorax... it's a really good movie :D)

Now that brings us to today. The first day of classes.  I have only had one so far and one more later in the day. If you are wondering I'm taking Health Psychology, Research Statistics (Psychology), and Photography I.

Now... if you wonder where the title of this entry spawned, well that was when I hung out with Jay. Like I said previously, he has been on campus for a while because of soccer practice. After I unpacked one box I decided to hang out with him because we never got that chance last year... casue I'm a failure at things, but all is well now! We walked around campus a bit and then went to his dorm. We ended up watching this weird movie with HORRENDOUS acting, but it was pretty entertaining in how bad it was XD.

Afterward we just started walking around campus again. It was sooo cold. I have been in hot ass Texas for the past three months so I have to get readjusted to the cooler midwest weather. (It probably didn't help that I was wearing a tank top, shorts, and a cardigan... but that's just what I traveled in and didn't bother changing).

We ended up by the soccer field and just sat on the bench. It was funny though how I could tell he was using excuses to touch me. Like he was trying to "keep me warm" with his arms around me, but he is too thin for that to really work XD. (Hence why my friends refer to him as "Lanky"). But he was hugging me and holding my hand. At one point he was hugging me and decided to pick me up. -_- Do I feel comfortable with this? FUCK NO! I'm a fucking fat ass and he is a fucking bean pole! But NOOOOO! He did it any way -_-.

THEN! at another point he wanted me to sit on him. WHY! GOD WHY!!!! I am not small. I know this fact every time I walk past a mirror or scale. I'm trying to start accept my body, but I am not there yet! No but he just pulled me anyway and was hugging me. I just don't know... I guess I just need more time to process everything. I mean I believe I'm at the point where I can admit to myself that I may like him (and if you know me, admitting anything to myself about my feelings is a BIG fucking step!)

Well, I don't know. I suppose just writing out everything will help me process everything.

Until next time
- Vizzy