Hey today I was thinking: how far would you go to protect your eating disorder?
I make up a lot of hypothetical situations and conversations in my head. (Crazy much?)
What are the chances someone sees one of my scars and questions me? Granted, I would deny it at first, but I'm not deathly afraid of the truth getting out. (Plus, my parents confronted me once last year, but haven't mentioned it since. I think they think I don't do it anymore.)
On the other hand, if someone ask me if I purge or restrict on purpose, I WOULD LIE MY ASS OFF! I will make up excuses, get emotional, show them that I am not thin let them know I am not sickly thin (obviously I'm huge) ect. Maybe it is because because I am not at my goal weight. (will I reach out for help then?) but then I start to panic because I'm afraid I'll just get fat again...
I would admit to self injuring before admitting to an eating disorder. A year ago I would have NEVER even thought that I would have something worse than cutting... How the times have changed.
Why can't I just be like my best friend who is INCREDIBLY thin, but she eats a TON! *sigh*