My Life's Scrapbook

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Well well well

Guess who sucks...

This girl. Congrats. Go eat then purge a cookie.

Well like mentioned before, I stayed at Reba's... had to eat chips at her job (shouldn't we be feeding little kids fruts and veggies for snack... NOT chips?) then I ended up being served cooked potatoes and a quesadilla for dinner....


Well when I woke up in the morning, the torture didn't end! Reba was like "there is cereal in the pantry". At first I just ignored her, then her mom was telling me, so I got like 1/2 a cup of generic cheerioes with non fat skim milk. (That was a big freaking deal! I hate eating breakfast because I always end up hungry during the day.)
Once we are leaving Reba tells me "Oh, I don't usually eat breakfast cause I don't get hunrgy until 2nd period (our physics class)"

I was sooooooooooooooooooooooooo *passes out* oooooooooo pissed off! I had to freaking eat!

Then just like I predicted, guess what happened. Go on and guess.

Yup, Vizzy got hungry real quick. I don't just mean little curling of the stomach... no I got fucking RAVENOUS!  I was so hungry that I ended up eating the lunch that reba's mom made me.... I NEVER EAT LUNCH AT SCHOOL! Then I get home, eat soup, broccoli, few corn tortilla chips, and then chocolate!

*KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!*  that's the sound of my scale exploding when i weigh myself.

I feel really disgusting. every time I look down i just see a disgusting gut! 

I need to fast, but I need support. I start strong, and when I get home... I end up eating :(

Here's my plan.

Thursday Breakfast:
Coffee with splenda and a touch of non fat cream.

Thursday lunch:
Nada (That means nothing for my non-spanish speaking friends)

Thursday Dinner:
Perhaps a medium/ large apple
and a protein shake

If I need a snack, it'll be diet coke!

Yeah... this plan seems amazing! Now I just need SERIOUS support. I need someone that is willing to verbally ABUSING me if it is necessary. I wish I had an ana buddy in real life.

Oh well. I have to finish homework and try to fit in a workout tonight.

I hope all you lovelies are succeeding at what ever you are dooing. Trying to recover or fasting, I love you and support you.



Anonymous said...


There. I said it.

It is so annoying! You can't pretend you already ate, because you've been with the person for like 12 straight hours. And you don't know the caloric content of all the foods, and you have to eat at different times, and they don't have yogurt, and people always want to snack, and... urgh!

Don't worry too much about it, though. Or at least try not to. Take a bigfatdeep breath and move on.

(Oh, and I promise your scale hasn't exploded.)

Good luck with meal plan/workout/homework and everything. But I refuse to verbally abuse you if you mess up. Della doesn't verbally abuse her friends. Or twinnies.

xoxoxoxoxo Della

BlAnCh said...

mm, i wish someone would yell at me when i ate too... i was thinking the exact same thing the other day... i was guna ask in my blog if u guys wud.. but i figured noone would :P. i need someone to tell me how repulsive i am... its just not enough to hear it in my head all day... i need it to be real... and me too on the buddy thing :( noone i actually know gets this at all...
sounds like it sucked but i love the plan gl!! SS keep us updated!

Perfecting my Emptiness said...

look...i can be a good ana buddy, just that we are far away...i wish so much to be close to you, if you think you can trust me enough you could give me your cellphone, and i will send you txts and you could call me when it becomes rougher.
I am back and got down 4 pounds yuppie:D:D, if you want send me your number.
kisses and hugs...and i am here for give me strenght, you give me trust...i trust you a lot...

Anonymous said...


(((Echo! Echo!))))

Are you alive?

Your distressed twin,

Vampire said...

Eek I hope this blog gets better... it sounds like a wanna-be anorexic on Tumblr right now =/