My Life's Scrapbook

Monday, August 3, 2009

8/4/09 1:04 A.M.

Still haven't gone to bed... Ugh!
I've just been kind of snacking. Not full out binge mode, but just mindless munch. I fucking hate this.

How is this even possible? I can love food but abhor it with a seething passion.
Does that ever happen to anyone else?

Also I always get an urge to exercise at night. During the day, not so much. Plus it is soooooo hot here. That is still no fucking excuse for my fat ass, but I just... ugh. I just fucking hate my life! I thought things would get better when school let out, but I'm still in this depression, it was just worse then.

I just want to weigh less. I'm tired of always being fat and I'm tired of this damn disorder too.
I just want to get down to my goal weight of 125 and be normal and happy.

Is that to much to ask for?

I'm gonna watch OSnapski's youtube video.
She is an inspiration of hope.


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