Different Now

This is a poem that I wrote.... 3 years ago (damn I'm getting old :P) It was actually for school, and I'm pretty sure my teacher never looked at me the same afterward....

Different Now

She was tired, says the bed left undone.

Frustrated, says the countless hair products

Strewn next to the detangling brush.

Ready to give up, says the school books 

On the carpeted floor, soft and blue like the sea.

Ready to get away to another world, says the novels

About made up people like her,

But with different situations than she.

Some worse and made her weep, says the salt water left on the pages

Some better that she envies, says the scratched out names 

Of characters, replaced with her own

Happy says the smile on her face 

In the family holiday portrait, but what about her eyes?

Well I can see they tell a different story. 

A story that has never been told.

A story about her, kept under lock and key,

Held captive by her own hurting heart 

To protect her. 

She’s not like she once was says the hidden 

Journal beneath her mattress, where nobody

Could unleash its many aches.

She wishes for someone she could confide in,

Says the tears that lulled her to sleep last night,

Still leaving her pillow moist.

Something’s wrong…

She’s different now

                                -Vizzy

The simple letters...

A B C...

I'm fed up. I skipped school because I've been feeling so fucked up, depressed, fat ect.

I'm doing the ABC. I tried last year, but failed on day 5 because I went to a birthday party and obviously didn't meet the number of cals.

I need you all to keep me accountable.
I'm just telling you all because I know I will feel like more of a piece of shit if you all know I fail.

Here goes nothing.

-Vizzy

Hole

Should I crawl out of this whole I have been stuck in?

Ugh.

Ok, so about 2 weeks ago i resolved to lose the weight I had gained since the beginning of this school year. It went well and lost about 6lbs in a week :) (I must admit that I was happy about that)

Then I started bloating this week (probably just hormones, but my fucked up mind won't accept that). Also I started having this insatiable hunger and had less time to work out. To make matters worse, the batteries on the scale are dead so I have NO clue what I weigh which is making me really anxious, depressed and just fed up with life.

Meh. I'm tired of complaining.



I finished the Hunger Games a while ago. It truly is a good book. I love how I could imaging the scenes like a movie in my head.

Read it! I deamand you... ok ok, I ask you nicely to read it. :)




Now I'm reading Catching Fire, which is the second book of the Hunger Games series.

Let me just say, I think Peeta is such a whimp. Jeeezee. He needs to man up, and stop whining.

He's got nothing on Gale if you ask me ;D




Well I'm gonna knit some baby hats and watch Criminal Minds.

Hope yall's weekend is going well.
-Vizzy