Feeling is believing.

Hola todos, a mi blog. :P

Ok, Hello everyone.

Well, the biggest thing i have to say is I SURVIVED SUMMER SCHOOL! Now I can take Photo I & II next year!

I got a 94 in Economics and 88 in American Government. Wooot!!!!

Of course my perfectionism wishes I could have made an A in gov., but hell, it was a history class and I abhor history. So an 88 is ok...... meh

ANY WHO.

Despite that I survived, last week was tough. I was feeling so FAT. I mean I felt like a behemoth. GARGANTUAN.

HUGE.

I was constantly on the verge of tears. Funny thing is that I had push mowed the lawn that saturday (great workout) so I was actually losing weight. However, i just kept feeling like my scale was lying.

Don't yall just hate feeling this way?

Until next time,

-Vizzy

Hello lovlies,

I know I haven't been hear in FOREVER! I deeply apologize. *Bows*

ok. I'm still fat, big surprise... :/
but good thing is I haven't cut or purged in about 4 weeks! I never thought I could make it that long.

So, I was taking economics to make space for photo I next year. Well I ended up getting a 94. Woop!

Then I had a week off. During this week I got to intern with a group I'm in. I'm interning with the guy who teaches math, my best friend will intern with the girl that teaches language arts. Everyone in the program is there basicly because they are smart, but underprivileged, so the program puts them in private schools. Hense how I'm in the private school I'm in.
Well,  I have fallen in love with those kids! They are so smart and cute. I feel really bad though cause I had to stop for 2 weeks to take American Gov to make room for photo II. That class SUCKS! i have a test every fucking day about 4 chapters :S. So as if my perfectionism isn't only getting annoyed there, but I feel bad that I'm not interning. I don't get to help the math teacher as much as I'd like.

*sigh* You all are probably SOOOOOO confused. Tell me if you don't understand.

Any who, it's time I tell you about my big summer  plan. The reason i'm interning is because I, my bff, the language arts teacher, the math teacher, and the head lady of the program are all going to ACAPULCO, MEXIO next month. There is another section of the group down there, with the same mission of helping underprivileged kids.

I'm really scared about the eating situation. The parents make food lunch for everyone. It'll be really hard to get past that, but I will try my darn hardest. and on thursday nights for dinner were supposed to try new restaurants together :S

but other than that i'm responsible for my food. But I'm still living in an apartment with 2 guys and 2 girls.

Any good advice?

-Vizzy

My doctor says I'm fat.

Uh. Ok, well maybe not in those words, but that's how it translated in my fucked up mind.

You all know that because of school I wasn't able to exercise like I did last summer... So I put on ten pounds. Disgusting I KNOW. I FUCKING LIVE WITH IT!
*Deep breath* Ok, well I've shaved off three, but when I went to the doctor he was a fucking prick in saying "Well I've noticed that you've put on 7lbs since your last visit." Then he offered me TIPS. He told me to stop drinking soda because that should save me some calories.

I DON'T EVEN FUCKING REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I DRANK A REAL SODA. He probably doesn't even fucking remember that I'm a vegetarian. (Also he doesn't know about my disorder.) But can you imagine my fucking frustrated yelling going on in my head? I mean REALLY!

I've been depressed, constantly wanting to cut, though I haven't thank God.

*Sigh* That's why I've really been missing, I'm sowwy. I have been keeping up with all of your blogs! Keep me updated!

We have to stick together to keep what sanity we have left.

-Vizzy