My Life's Scrapbook

Tuesday, May 29, 2012


Finally my first fucking year of college is over. Just 3 more to go until I get me B.A. in Psychology. Ugh. I'm so tired.

For the past week I have been getting about 3 hours of sleep each night because I was too busy studying and writing papers *facepalm*

I'm done now. I don't know how I did and won't until perhaps sometime in June. It scares me because I really want to do well. :/

Well on a different and non academic note. I have developed the habit of drinking to destress.  It is fine and I have never gotten sick like that one night that I explained to y'all. 

One weekend, when I went out I happened to dance with this guy. Whatever, probably a fluke and we'll never see each other again. I was okay with that since I didn't really know him or see him around campus. 

Then he danced with me again at a different party... then finally last weekend. It's like he found me at EVERY party.

So I decided, what the hell, I'm not just gonna look for him and add him on Facebook. Just get to know who the fuck this random ass guy was that I happened to dance with all the time. When I added him, he sprung up a conversation almost immediately. I found to that he is actually a pretty cool and funny guy. He asked me if we could hang out monday (yesterday) before he left. (He's an international student). I said yes, but forgot that I told a different friend that I would hang out at his frat and drink.

I decided that I could split the time, but it ended up being that I couldn't hang out with him because I didn't know that he was leaving at 3 a.m. He called me right before he left and when he saw me he got out of the cab and hugged me. I felt like such a bitch for not hanging out with him like I said I would. 

I felt REALLY bad, but then the next morning I see this text from him "Hey! I'm about to board right now. Thanks for showing up. I almost thought I wasn't gonna see ya! :)"

My friends all say that he has a crush on me but I just don't know. I know I'm personally the kind of person that refuses to invest my feeling toward someone until I know that they are at least a little interested in me.

Should I like him? Why would/should anyone ever like me?

ugh. Emotions are complicated, but I have a whole 3 months until I see him in person again. We'll just have to see if we are still talking over the summer break. :/

Sincerely confused,
- Vizzy


Peridot (G+P) said...

As soon as Dralion comes back inside I'll pass on the bellyrub to her :) It's getting windy out so she should be back in soon.

Congratulations on surviving the first year! Now you know what to expect, the next ones shouldn't be as difficult so long as you remember to manage your time wisely ;) Just don't forget to put some playtime in your schedule either!

With long-distance friendship is best. I've tried long-distance and it doesn't seem to work too well unless you're both already in a solid, committed relationship.

People would like you coz you're awesome. You're caring and funny and if people DON'T like you then they're not worth worrying about.

Yeah, emotions are complicated but they're part of being human. They can make life fun and make it hell, but at the end of the day it's better to feel than be the walking dead.

Take it day at a time, and aim for friendship. If it never becomes anything more, than you've gained a friend. If you two do end up in a relationship, it will be a stronger and healthier one with the foundation of friendship in place :)

Take care, enjoy your holiday and remember to be honest with yourself. And sleep, sleep is good for you ;)


Peridot (G+P) said...


Dog years. You were counting in dog years :p Or do you own a Tardis?

One breath at a time. I'm going to write that on my hand for work tomorrow night!

I hope you're enjoying your holidays. Love to you up in the sunny north <3