My Life's Scrapbook

Monday, September 26, 2011

Illusion or reality

Life without a scale is driving me fucking crazy. Since being in college from the end of August to now, I haven't weighed myself.

I'm looking at myself in the mirror and just seeing all this nastiness of my body grow. I don't know if my mind is just doing it or if I am getting fatter. I feel like shit when I can't exercise at the school's gym. Ugh! I need release. I just need to get better.

Better at school
better looking
a better friend
a better roommate
a better student

i'm just not good enough...


Peridot (G+P) said...

I call bullshit on that last sentence.

You are fucking AWESOME and don't let your brain tell you otherwise.

Gah, I fully understand you about not having a scale. I stopped sleeping over at my BFs house coz he doesn't have a scale (Bad peri!)

You could get a tape measure and attempt some measuring? It is nice to see toned muscles emerge as you slim down, rather than a nasty cunt of a scale telling you how much the muscle mass weighs. (Why can't they make a scale that tells you how much of your weight is muscle& organs&bone??? WHY??)

Love you <3

sweet pea. said...

i havent weighed myself in over 2 years, because i didnt want to know anymore.

be okay <3

sweet pea. said...

im glad to know im an inspiration. you can be one, too. just....... i wanna say "just believe in yourself" but that sounds a bit corny, and it doesnt always work anyway.
hmmmmm, just...... just do what you love, and dont let anyone (even yourself) hold you back. that would be my "words of wisdom" or whatever for you.

Peridot (G+P) said...

Fitday keeps track of the nutrient levels I get from my noms, I'll have to check to potassium and start eating more spuds :x

Uni is like a whole seperate universe. I just got back from attending a seminar on H.P Lovecraft given by a PhD friend of mine. Gods I'd love to be an academic! Study and write my whole life! *Dreamy sigh* I just don't think I could handle all the scholarship and funding stresses, though.

Yessssss we can get through this! Thank you so much for your wonderful words. They mean so much.

I hope you have a great weekend. Take some time out from study to go to a park and do nothing/feed the ducks for 15mins. Study SMART, not HARD :p

Love you xoxoxoxoxoxo

Gracie said...

Stay strong--- you can do it! I know college is really rough in the beginning but you'll see it through! Mirror lies.

PerfectingMyEmptiness said...

I love you, vizzy