I shouldn't have

Just did something I know I shouldn't have...

Why am I so good at being a disappointment.

I flushed my 5 week success down the toilet... literally.

-Vizzy

hope?

Ok. Just caught up with everyones blogs. Ooof! But I love you all, so it's the price of love :)

Any who. Those of you who haven't blogged in a while, WHAT'S GOING ON!?

Just 28 days for me until I graduate, and I still have NOT made up my mind about a college (have to chose a college by may 1st).

Next week I'll go up to visit Knox College (small liberal arts school) in Illinois. They accepted me even though I applied late, but it will still depend heavily on how much financial aid they can offer.

Sucks to be poor. Sucks that education cost so much.

And can I say cuts and scars just suck too? I hate that I have to do it, but I HAVE to do it. I don't even feel worthy enough to get a tattoo of the word "hope" on my inner right wrist when the lie lives in the inner left wrist.

Well, I need to make a youtube vlog, because I have neglected them for far too long.

Even when shit is going down in my life,
hope all is well for yall
-Vizzy

Long time no blog huh... sorry (If you actually care. It not... whatever.)

Soooooo. Time has been more of it's hating self. I'm sliding deeper and deeper in to a depression of self loathing and apathy.

If I died tomorrow it wouldn't matter. Nothing fucking matters or has value if it has to do with me.

Hell even colleges don't want me enough. It's evident that they haven't giving me enough scholarship. THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I CAN AFFORD TO PAY FOR IT. I'm poor, my family is poor.

I don't know what to do....

The only thing I seem to do on a regular basis is cut, and please others....



Fuck it all.