2011

This is my year in many ways.
I'll turn 19 which is weird for me to think about.
 I've always been older than all the other kids my age. Maybe it's the shit I've been through that has allowed me to skip all the immaturity and naivety that some are just growing past. So now my physical age is catching up to my mental age.

I'll graduate high school and go to college!
Ekk. I can hardly wait for this one! I'm through with the same biased school and materialistic people. I want to meet people from all over. All different races, cultures, ages ect. I need a cultural change rather than 90% privileged white kids around me.

Becoming vegan?
I usually believe New Year resolutions are useless, or at least for me, but this year I have actually resolved to research veganism. I'm currently reading Becoming Vegan: The Complete Guide to Adopting a Healthy Plant-Based Diet, which is often referred to as THE vegan bible. Basically becoming vegan won't be an overnight thing like becoming a vegetarian was. I just need to equip myself with all I can know about it, so that when I do eventually transfer over, I'm more than sufficiently prepared.

So why wouldn't my body fit in to "my year"
This will be the year to reach my goal. To workout as much as possible, and eat the very necessity and nothing more.

well I'm off to read Hamlet for school. I really like it more than I thought. Perhaps it's cause he's a mentally struggling character.  Ah Shakespeare, thou doth written in a way that most still cannot.

-Vizzy

Small yet still there.

OMG! It feels so great to be working out A LOT once again. I've been doing mostly Tae Bo videos on YouTube (for me it burns about 670 cals in 50 minutes).

Today was super fun though. I played the new game Dance Central at my bff's house. SUCH A WORKOUT! You are legitimately dancing and start sweating. I probably played for about 3 hours!!! and it was fun with good music so I didn't mind that I was really working-out.

Also I've noticed that I'm less tempted to binge because I'm working-out. YAY!

Now I'm starting to feel sore after all that dancing. I might have to take tomorrow off form cardio. Oh, well.

Merry Christmas Eve,
- Vizzy

When I grow up...

I wanna be pretty.


I'm working on that one at the moment.


Well I'm on break FINALLY! So that means more time to workout! Yay!


OK. My life is boring other than that :S Just trying to survive as usual.


These are a few images I have been loving. (I have a whole folder on my computer dedicated to thinspo. The are all just so lovely)

I love this one ^ also because of the necklace. hehehe.

Ok. I'm acting very strange and giddy. I need to workout for an hour, and then go to bed.

Ta ta for now,

Vizzy

Ode to thy royal chocolate Snicker

Oh, you deceptive thing, you.
So small, and "fun" you say,
but your consequences are never that way.
They fill you with sugar, fats, and death;
yet American's still can't get enough of you yet.
You were forced upon me when company was around
Fuck you, you chocolaty nugaty mound!

Finals week. And I ate a shit load of "fun" size snickers 'cause my sister brought the damned things in the house and offered me some.


FUCK!


Note to self: Misty, grow some fucking balls and learn how to say NO! ugh. Will I ever learn?




-Vizzy

Fallout Review

I forgot to link my review on the novel Fallout by Ellen Hopkins here.
















http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-31so9Onhio


Please be sure to read some of Ellen Hopkins' books! She tackles all the tough topics that most authors shy away from like suicide, self injury, eating disorders, prostitution ect.


Until next time,
-Vizzy

Patty cake

You NEED to watch this!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvxCv_yrcCY&feature=related

You will laugh you ass off!



Look forward to my review of Fallout by Ellen Hopkins with in this weekend!!!!











-Vizzy

Different Now

This is a poem that I wrote.... 3 years ago (damn I'm getting old :P) It was actually for school, and I'm pretty sure my teacher never looked at me the same afterward....

Different Now

She was tired, says the bed left undone.

Frustrated, says the countless hair products

Strewn next to the detangling brush.

Ready to give up, says the school books 

On the carpeted floor, soft and blue like the sea.

Ready to get away to another world, says the novels

About made up people like her,

But with different situations than she.

Some worse and made her weep, says the salt water left on the pages

Some better that she envies, says the scratched out names 

Of characters, replaced with her own

Happy says the smile on her face 

In the family holiday portrait, but what about her eyes?

Well I can see they tell a different story. 

A story that has never been told.

A story about her, kept under lock and key,

Held captive by her own hurting heart 

To protect her. 

She’s not like she once was says the hidden 

Journal beneath her mattress, where nobody

Could unleash its many aches.

She wishes for someone she could confide in,

Says the tears that lulled her to sleep last night,

Still leaving her pillow moist.

Something’s wrong…

She’s different now

                                -Vizzy

The simple letters...

A B C...

I'm fed up. I skipped school because I've been feeling so fucked up, depressed, fat ect.

I'm doing the ABC. I tried last year, but failed on day 5 because I went to a birthday party and obviously didn't meet the number of cals.

I need you all to keep me accountable.
I'm just telling you all because I know I will feel like more of a piece of shit if you all know I fail.

Here goes nothing.

-Vizzy

Hole

Should I crawl out of this whole I have been stuck in?

Ugh.

Ok, so about 2 weeks ago i resolved to lose the weight I had gained since the beginning of this school year. It went well and lost about 6lbs in a week :) (I must admit that I was happy about that)

Then I started bloating this week (probably just hormones, but my fucked up mind won't accept that). Also I started having this insatiable hunger and had less time to work out. To make matters worse, the batteries on the scale are dead so I have NO clue what I weigh which is making me really anxious, depressed and just fed up with life.

Meh. I'm tired of complaining.



I finished the Hunger Games a while ago. It truly is a good book. I love how I could imaging the scenes like a movie in my head.

Read it! I deamand you... ok ok, I ask you nicely to read it. :)




Now I'm reading Catching Fire, which is the second book of the Hunger Games series.

Let me just say, I think Peeta is such a whimp. Jeeezee. He needs to man up, and stop whining.

He's got nothing on Gale if you ask me ;D




Well I'm gonna knit some baby hats and watch Criminal Minds.

Hope yall's weekend is going well.
-Vizzy

Life sucks.

The end.


Ask me questions though. it is anonymous and I need distractions.
http://formspring.me/VizzyOne

p.s. I'm reading The Hunger Games














And with some birthday money I finally bought Fallout by Ellen Hopkins. (She's my favorite author F.Y.I.)
















I'll put up a review soon. Sorry to be a bitch, but my bulimia is here and stronger than ever. I'm fatter than I have been in a LONG time, so I hope you can all understand why I can't quite deal with updating on life.

-Vizzy